Monthly Archives: June 2011

Randomness

I’ve been itching to blog but I really didn’t have anything profound to share except a few random thoughts, ideas and a couple things going down in my life lately so I figured I’d just do a quick RANDOM post.

  • Inspired by Claudia’s comment on my last post I have decided to start a 101 in 1001 list. This is probably going to be a long work in progress and I most likely won’t finish half of it, but it’s healthy to have goals, even if you don’t always get around to them in a set time frame. So I’ll be adding a page for that soon!
  • Some Thoughts

  • Google+ recently launched for a lucky chosen few and I’m really itching to get in on that. I don’t post much on Facebook because I’m a bit of a private person and I’m really looking forward to the Circle feature, especially since it seems to be a really appealing user friendly interface. It’s about time Facebook gets a dose of healthy competition!
  • On Monday I went to see the Dermatologist and got two moles removed. One at his suggestion and one at my request. Ended up with 3 stitches after he removed the one at my request. I’ve never had stitches before and the concept has always sorta freaked me out. I get them taken out on July 11th and that day cannot get here fast enough! Also he had my moles sent to pathology so I guess I’ll be hearing soon if they were bad news moles or not.
  • Every time the movie Julie & Julia comes on one of the movie channels I find myself watching it and each time I get incredibly inspired to blog, write, and cook! This week I got The Unofficial Harry Potter Sweet Shoppe Kit by the same person who brought us The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook and I’m contemplating doing my own version of Julie and Julia except with the small Sweet Shoppe cook book. Sounds like fun right? I think so!
  • Other than my randomly playing World of Warcraft again, desire to do something (anything!) creative, and fighting off my sinus’ or the family cold (not sure which), that’s all for now! Hope you all are doing well!

    Trapped

    I’ve been feeling good lately. Started a new workout regimen and it’s been kicking my BUTT. It’s good though. I’ve lost weight thanks to Weight Watchers but lately I’ve hit a bit of a plateau and I have troublesome areas that need a lot of work. So I started ChaLEAN Extreme and holy crow, it certainly IS extreme. I like it because the workouts pretty much vary on a daily basis so it keeps it different and interesting.

    Regardless of feeling so good, lately I’ve been feeling sorta trapped. Like I’ve got this giant glass jar over me and it only allows me to go so far. I’m really starting to want to break out of this giant glass jar I’m caught in but part of me is also very comfortable in the constrains of this jar and the security it offers me.

    These last couple years I’ve definitely made some serious advances toward breaking out of this jar. I’ve forced myself out of my comfort zone and even had great success as a result of it, but occasionally I feel like those glass walls are closing back in. I feel like things are never going to change for me. I feel like my fears in life are just going to haunt me until they inevitably come true. I find I get discouraged when I work hard to step out of my comfort zone hoping more things will happen for me and they don’t. I guess I’m learning to accept that there are some things about myself that I just won’t be able to change. I’m sure there’s a reason for it. God wouldn’t have made me the person I am without a reason behind it.

    For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

    Jeremiah 29:11

    So I’m just going to keep breaking through these glass walls as much as I can and hope that eventually I will be free of them for good and find my purpose in this world.

    Speaking of my fears, I’m conquering one of them this coming Monday. I’m going to the Doctor and getting some moles removed. One more thing I can check off my list of things I need to get done and also things that I’m insecure about that I will finally be rid of. Hopefully they won’t be malignant or anything, so say a little prayer for me!

    Leave the Weeping to the Willow Tree

    After a nearly an entire week of feeling pretty crummy, I’m so happy to feel like I’m finally getting back to my old self again. Prior to actually not feeling well, I also was just not my typical self in general. Spent probably too much time looking back and drowning in what ifs. Looking back is usually not the best idea if you’re already feeling a little down about things, but sometimes it can be good to remember where you came from and even remember some of your mistakes if only so you can remember not to make them again. You just can’t fall into the quicksand pit of your past. Leave it in the past and focus on the present! I read a really awesome quote a few weeks ago on The Single Woman twitter.


    Happiness is enjoying each moment as it comes, without glancing at the previous one, or wishing for the next one. -TheSW

    It has since become my words to live by. I find that I am definitely most happy when I’m living in the present. I struggle, not when I look back but, when I try to imagine my future. There is only one being who knows what is in store for my future and no matter how badly I want to write it, I’m not the author of my life, God is. I’m just living it!

    Anyway, I wanted to share a little bit of the discoveries I made about myself while I took a little trip down Nostalgia Lane. Both of these pretty much go hand in hand:

  • I have the worst relationship luck ever.
  • I run when people get too close.
  • It’s true and it’s pretty embarrassing. Numerous times I’ve gotten to the point where things are about to change with a guy and either I pull away and the chance is gone or I have a cliche movie moment where I learn that things weren’t about to change after all and in a heart-breaking revelation I discover I’m not even the girl they want. Lucky for me these were all guys who didn’t deserve me anyway because I think if they were any decent they wouldn’t have let me get away, right? But it is quite a blow to a girl’s self-esteem when it seems a guy is on the verge of taking it to the next step with you only to discover they’re really just trying to get your advice about the girl they’re really interested in. Ouch!

    Moral of the story: Looking back and thinking “what if” or wondering how things would have ended up had you acted differently doesn’t change anything. I’m just going to keep focused on what’s important and pray that someday I find my own William Drexler III (you should read Filter to find out who he is). Until then, I’m going to live in the present and be HAPPY. You should too!