Silly Human Confessions of a Geeky People Pleaser

Most random blog subject line in the history of this blog! What can I say? I’m just in that place right now and I’m owning it. The last three days I’ve gotten to have the house all to myself. I forgot how fantastic it is to just have one on one time with yourself. Being able to do whatever the blazes you want, go wherever you want and eat whatever you want without having to even consider what someone else wants. It’s been a relaxing and liberating few days! I definitely needed it, too. Pampered myself a little bit but most importantly got to have a lot of time to evaluate things.

I was thinking this morning how we humans operate in strange ways sometimes. We go through periods of our lives where we throw all logic out of the way and make unnecessary sacrifices for silly reasons. I was just thinking about my own self and my hobbies and the things that I used to enjoy doing and what I do now. I used to be pretty hardcore about playing video games. I know when I started living a healthier lifestyle, I definitely played video games less in favor of a more active lifestyle but I never stopped enjoying playing games. This morning I had that all too familiar feeling, that desire to play an old favorite video game. Why did I quit playing? Well, for one it’s not free to play and I don’t have the extra money right now to waste on a subscription, but I stopped before that was the case. Somehow along the way I convinced myself I didn’t enjoy playing that game anymore, however, that is not true. If I was to log in right now, I’m pretty sure I’d get sucked back in pretty quickly doing all the things I used to like doing when I used to play. So what happened?

I’ll tell you what happened and this principle can apply to our lives in many different ways, not just with video games. What happened was I forfeit the way I enjoyed playing to play the way others play. In other words, to fit in and to be accepted I stopped playing the game for me and instead played for others and when I did that I lost all the joy I used to have playing.

Do you do this in your life? Do you find yourself changing and doing things different in order to please others? Are you a people pleaser? And if you are have you noticed that eventually it just steals your own joy away? You can’t please everyone and when you constantly try, you’ll just end up being the most disappointed one. I struggle with this on a regular basis. Silly human, why do you do this? Why do you constantly sacrifice the things you love, the things you enjoy and the things you want for the sake of others? This is not the recipe for happiness. This is the recipe for disappointment and unhappiness.

For those of you out there like me, we should probably be adapting a little less. Be less of a chameleon and more of a honey badger. Honey badger? Why the honey badger? Because honey badgers don’t give a crap what anyone thinks they just do their thing. Plus they’re brave critters and sometimes we need to be more courageous in who we are and remember that we don’t have to be shades of ourselves to be accepted, loved and appreciated. We can be exactly who we are, our quirky selves, our geeky selves or whoever you truly are and we are still loved. Loved by the one who created the world and everything in it. He loves us just as we are!

3 Responses to Silly Human Confessions of a Geeky People Pleaser

  1. Ang says:

    I think that in some ways we all inherently will sacrifice for our loved ones but I do think some people do it too much. There’s a difference between compromise and sacrifice and it took me a very, very, VERY long time to understand that. R and I weren’t always so in love and content, there were many years where I did exactly what you talked about, only gave shades of myself that would work because I thought that’s how it should be. Then I sat down and had a long talk with him, a good cry too, that he didn’t really know me because I was always trying to be what he wanted me or expected me to. And it wasn’t that he demanded it, it was just something I did, probably because of my upbringing and because of my past failed relationship.

    I’m glad that you’re able to take a step back and realize your worth and value and that you shouldn’t have to sacrifice or completely change who you are to make people happy. You matter too.

    I think you’re on a good path now and can see that. Keep sticking to your guns and keep remembering that compromise and sacrifice are not the same thing. If you’re the only person doing it, it’s not compromise and I think if you remember that, you’re going to be just fine.

  2. Paula says:

    I love that feeling of falling in love with something you used to love, especially if it’s a stupid reason for stopping in the first place. Quite often because it’s not ‘cool’ or you don’t think you ‘should’ like it… I’m definitely much happier when I’m loving what I love because I love it, even if people laugh at me for it.

    I’ve recently rediscovered my love for ‘house’ shows – househunting, diy shows – and oh my friends mock me but the sheer joy I have of watching them is so much more than worth it!

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